Story (c) 2000-2004 by Hikaru Katayamma/Keith Dickinson. All rights reserved. The character Sheila Vixen (c) Eric W Schwartz. Throckmorton P Ruddygore, Poqua, Lakash (c) Jack L Chalker. Jack (c) David Hopkins.Mary the Mouse © Mary Minch. All other characters are (c) Hikaru Katayamma.  This story contains adult situations and language. By reading it the viewer agrees not to hold this or any other person responsible for any content they may find objectionable. If you don't like it, don't read it.

"Lakash!" Arden grumbled in a low voice. His eyes narrowed to a thin slit as he waited for an answer. "Damn it, Lakash. I know you're there. I can feel you."

The dapper man stepped away from the shadows and stopped, facing Arden as he crossed his arms. "What do you want now?"

"Why?" Arden stepped up to Lakash, invading his personal space so that they were almost touching.

Lakash pursed his lips. "Why what?"

"You know damn good and well what," he angrily replied as he towered over the smaller man. "Why are you screwing with Zig Zag like that?"

"Zig Zag?" A confused look crossed the fallen angel's face for a second. "Oh, that." With a flick of a finger, Arden suddenly found himself standing several feet away from the small man. "It's simple. Unlike you, I clean up after my messes."

"I didn't realize that Zig Zag was your mess," Arden quipped. He tried to take a step forward but was stopped by an invisible barrier. "Last time I'd checked, you were pulling Khansman's strings."

"Oh. Him. I don't actually pull his strings. It's more of a case of giving him a gentle push in the right direction." Lakash casually sat down on a chair that appeared under him at the last moment. "As for Zig Zag, think of it as a form of encouragement."

"Encouragement?" the big man snarled as he pushed against the shield. His eyes flared red for an instant as the shield shattered allowing him to rush forward and grab Lakash by the throat. Lifting him with one hand he held the small man up at eye level. "You should be more careful about how you encourage me. Especially since you decided to hook me into the dragon again." He smiled at the furious face of the pin stripe-suited man. "In this world, the rules give me control, not you."

"Fine," Lakash choked out. "Go ahead and kill this avatar. If you do, you'll never recover the lamp, your quest will be ended and you and your bitch can live happily ever after here in this shit hole." The sudden release of pressure around his neck followed by the short drop hadn't been unexpected. Still, it took him a few seconds to recover his demeanor. Still rubbing his neck he glared up at the big man. "You were given the amulet almost eight months ago and what have you done? You're still fucking around with your comic book cutout, taking little side detours to do personal shit when you should be finishing your quest."

"I'll complete the quest when I'm goddamn good and ready," Arden growled in reply.

"No. You'll do it when I tell you to." Lakash's physical body expanded so that he was the same size as Arden. "Let me give you a clue: You're running out of time. You've got less than three weeks to accomplish your goal, or you can say goodbye to Nanuk, and to ever getting Sheila home."

Arden took an involuntary step backwards. "Only three weeks? Last time I checked, Nanuk had more time than that."

"That shows what little you know." Lakash stepped up to Arden, poking him in the chest to emphasize his point. "Three weeks. That's twenty one days. You either get your ass in gear, or you might as well find a nice, comfortable place to settle down…and raise puppies."

Arden blinked at the space where Lakash had stood. The small man had vanished leaving no trace of his passing. Arden's mind raced furiously as he considered all his options. His train of thought was derailed by a screech that was cut off suddenly outside the room. "What now?" Turning towards the door, he dashed out and around the corner and into the commons where he saw half a dozen dwarves along with a handful of humans standing on the far side. In the middle of the group he saw the witch holding two small, six inch spheres, one in each hand. In one sphere was Hecate while the other sphere held Sheila. Behind the witch stood Thumper who had a lopsided smile on his face. Arden glanced about the room noting the customers who'd all taken shelter from whatever was about to happen. "You just don't know when to give up, do you?" he asked as he strolled towards the dwarves.

"That's far enough," the witch declared. "Any further and I'll crush the spheres and kill your friends."

"You wouldn't dare," the big man replied, pausing in his stride. "You need her alive."

"Maybe," the dwarf replied, "and maybe not. My primary concern right now is neutralizing you. One more step and we'll find out the ugly, squishy truth." She nodded towards a human holding a large bundle of fairy-spun silk rope. "Tye him up, Larl."

The man began to uncoil the rope as he walked towards Arden. A low, almost subsonic rumble escaped Arden's throat as he glared at the man, causing him to stop in his tracks. A corona of red energy flared around Arden's black-on-black eyes for a second as he tapped the power of the dragon. Half a heartbeat later there was a blinding flash, followed immediately by the dull sound of a wet explosion.

The witch blinked her eyes to clear them from the flash then gasped at what she saw; an odd, man-shaped splotch of red consisting of the partially cooked and dripping remains of the man. "Not good," she muttered to herself. "Time for plan B." Summoning her courage, she spoke loud enough for everyone in the hotel to hear. "All right. If you want to play it that way, Marge, would you please take care of him?"
All eyes turned towards a storage room near the back of the hotel at the sound of the low, seductive voice. "It would be my pleasure." Standing five feet, nine inches, she was clearly a member of the nymph family. Her skin was a dark burgundy color except around the abdomen, breasts, neck and face where it was a lighter lavender color. From her back hung a pair of large, bat-like wings, black on the outside and crimson red on the inside. Long, thick, deep purple-colored hair cascaded over her shoulders, both covering her breasts and at the same time tantalizing her audience with glimpses of the exotic skin beneath. The only clothing she wore consisted of skintight leather pants and impossibly tall stiletto heels. Almond shaped bedroom eyes looked out seductively over a mouth that betrayed a somewhat predatory smile. She curled a lock of hair around one finger as a black tongue darted out to lick the already glistening lips before vanishing as fast as it had appeared. She spread her wings and slowly walked towards the man, rolling her hips with each step as she glided across the floor. "So tell me, big boy---what's a hunk of meat like you doing in a joint like this?" As she walked closer, a smile appeared on Arden's face as he gave her his undivided attention.

"We're screwed" Hecate said as she watched the exchange.

"What the hell is that?" Sheila asked from within her crystal prison. "And how the hell can she stand to wear those heels!"

"It's a succubus, and there's no stopping her now," the imir replied, dropping to the floor of the sphere in defeat.

The nymph ran her hands up and down Arden's chest, tracing the outlines of the scars with her clawed fingers. "So tell me, big boy---you busy tonight?"

"Busy?" Arden echoed dreamily, his smile growing a bit bigger. He took both her hands in his and kissed the knuckles before replying. "As a matter of fact, yes." The smile gone from his face, he released her hands and stepped back from the now immobilized succubus. "How about you wait right there while I take care of some business."

Marge's eyes looked around in horror as she discovered she couldn't move. "What the--? No!"

The witche's jaw dropped as she watched the man turn away from the paralyzed nymph. "No! That can't be! No male can resist the charms of a succubus, no matter what species it is. Even dragons aren't immune! I looked it up!" She let out a snarled screech of frustration. "How in hell's name can this be?"

"I tire of this," Arden replied, crossing his arms. "This is your last chance. Return them to me or die."

The witch opened her mouth to reply but instead grunted and stumbled forward a step, the tip of a long stiletto blade protruding from her chest over her heart. She turned, agape at Thumper who released the hilt before snatching the spheres from her. She dropped to her knees and looked up at him, confusion and betrayal in her eyes. "Why?"

"Sorry, but it's nothing personal," her assassin replied. "Your friend Thumper died in the river. I'm the necromancer Rathsmon."

"No!" Kord, the leader of the dwarves shouted as he charged forward, running Rathsmon through with his sword. "Traitor!"

The undead dwarf just chuckled and turned his head towards Kord and laughed. "Foolish dwarf. Don't you know you can't kill the dead with a sword?"

"Maybe not with just one sword," the dwarf replied, "but I bet we can hack you up to the point where you're as good as dead. Get him, boys!"

Rathsmon dodged to one side, avoiding a sword that was aimed for his neck only to find a different sword slicing along his side, almost disemboweling him. Seeing his companion in trouble, Arden let out a roar that shook dirt from the rafters and caused the dwarves and men to momentarily back up. Throwing his hand out, he released a torrent of lightening that wove its way through the mercenaries, electrocuting them where they stood. Only the leader still stood, his terrified gaze on the corpses of what had been a well armed and well trained fighting group. He looked up at Arden and let out a small whimper as the big man glared at him. Murderous eyes bored down on the dwarf as a smile betraying evil intent grew on the man's face. Holding up his clenched fingers, Arden snapped them at the dwarf, causing him to drop bonelessly to the ground where he began to flop and quiver.

"God damn it," Rathsmon exclaimed as he examined the loops of intestine which hung from the wide slash in his side. "How the hell am I supposed to go out looking like this?"

"Just tuck 'em back in and stitch it up," Arden replied, taking the spheres from him. He set Hecate's on the ground and gestured, causing the sphere to pop, releasing the deamoness who returned to full size, then stood up. "Here, hold this," he directed, handing her the other sphere.

"Great," the dwarf grumbled looking around the room. "All those humans and not a single, useable body left." He started to tuck the loops of intestines back inside his abdomen. "God, I hate being a dwarf." He was distracted by a gurgling grunt that came from behind. Turning, he saw Kord still writhing on the ground. "What the hell? I thought you were dead," he muttered as he walked over to examine the dwarf with Arden not far behind. Looking down he saw that the dwarf's arms and legs were twisting and squirming in ways that no limb should be able to. "Sweet mother of god!" He turned to Arden. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"Not much," Arden replied, squatting down next to the dwarf on the floor. "It's a spell that just came to me back then, something from the dragon's memory. It turned all his bones into cartilage with the exception of his ribcage, spine and head."

Hecate walked around Rathsmon for a look and smiled. "Nice spell. Think you can teach it to me?"

"Oh god," Sheila exclaimed from inside her sphere. "I think I'm going to be sick!" Turning away, she dropped to her hands and knees, panting and trying not to puke.

"You bastard," Kord spat as he flailed in Arden's general direction. The bones, or what should have been bones, simply twisted and writhed as the muscles pulling against now flexible arms and legs deformed them in a hideous way. "What do you plan to do with me?"

Reaching out, Arden grabbed the elastic dwarf by the front of his leather armor and stood up, holding him at arms length. He walked passed Rathsmon, grabbing the hilt of the sword which was embedded in the dwarf's back and yanked it out as he past. Swinging the sword overhead, he drove it point-first against a thick beam supporting the roof, imbedding the sword at a forty-five degree angle. He then used a loop on the back of the armor to dangle the dwarf from the hilt of the sword. "You, my antagonistic little tool, are going to be a warning to those who may follow." He paused as he concentrated on a spell, tracing symbols in the air in front of the dwarf. "These spells will make sure that you don't starve or die of dehydration. There's also a rather nasty trap spell I've placed in conjunction with the curse to discourage anyone from trying to restore you to normal."

Kord squirmed even harder, trying to dislodge himself from the sword. "You can't do this! I have friends!"

"I just did." Turning, Arden walked back over to Hecate and Sheila. "Sheila, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to leave you in that sphere for a bit longer."

"WHAT?" the vixen demanded incredulously.

"Try to understand," he continued, trying to calm her down. "You're pregnant and move about as fast as a drunken three-legged water buffalo on roller skates. Hecate can easily carry you like you are. In a crunch, she can even fly you to castle Teriendel without any major hassle."

"But---" the vixen started and then stopped, her ears drooping in defeat. "All right," she meekly replied, nodding, "I'll stay in the sphere."

Prepared for a fight, Arden was momentarily at a loss for words. "Umm, well, good." He glanced at Hecate for some sign but she only shrugged. "First thing we need to do is get the horse and buggy from the stables."

"Wrong," Hecate stated, moving to cut him off. "They'll be watching the stables. I've got several horses tethered outside of town in a secluded spot. We'll go get them."

Arden shook his head violently. "Unacceptable. I have to get to that buggy."

"Why? So you can get to your gold?" The deamoness shook her head. "No. We can't take the risk. Leave the buggy and the gold behind."

"I need that gold, Hecate. This isn't about greed. I need it," the big man argued, half pleadingly.

Again she shook her head. "I said no. You'll live without it. It's only about five days ride to the castle if we push it. You'll live without your precious gold for that long. Ruddygore's got plenty of gold for you to nibble on and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to break some out."

"But---" The man wanted to argue, but stopped, knowing that she was right. "Fine, but we won't be taking the horses,"

"Huh?" Now it was Hecate's turn to be surprised. "Why not?"

"Because it'll take too long." The big man started heading towards the back door. "We'll take a river boat. It should only take us two days if we go by river."

Cocking her head to the side, Hecate chewed the idea over in her head for a moment before following. "I guess that makes sense, though I don't trust river rats. Half of them will stab you for any cash you have and the other half will kill you just for the fun of it."

"Hey," Rathsmon barked out as he scampered along behind the others, "What about her?" he asked pointing to the succubus.

Arden stopped and walked back to the seductress and frowned. "What about her?"

"Please," Marge pleaded from her statue-like pose. "Don't leave me like this. They'll kill me."

A bark of laughter was Arden's first response as he moved to stand in front of her, his arms crossed. "Excuse me, but you're a succubus. You're evil. You use your powers to control and seduce men so you can eat their souls. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't nail your hide to the wall next to that dwarf for the villagers to deal with?"

"Look. It wasn't anything personal. They just hired me to delay you for a bit. That's all," she explained rapidly, looking for any excuse to prolong her existence. "It's not like I would have necessarily done anything to you, though you do look like you could be fun in bed."

"Hey!" Sheila barked angrily from her tiny prison. "That's my boyfriend, you---you---two-bit whore!"

"Honey, I am many things, but I am not cheap," was the succubus's quick retort. "Please. I'm not as bad as you think I am. Really."

"Yah, right. I'm sure you're a regular Mother Teresa." He uncrossed his arms and shook his head. "Sorry, babe. Not good enough." He turned and walked past the nymph.

"Hey! You're going to Terriendel, right?" she shouted, unable to turn her head. "I know Ruddygore. He's actually my friend." She paused for a second. "Well, as much a friend as someone like him has with anyone. He brought me across from Earth Prime a long time ago, back when I was human. He'll tell you, I'm not as bad as you think!"

Arden stopped dead in his tracks his eyes open wide. Slowly he turned and walked back to the succubus. "What did you just say? What was that about Earth Prime?"

Sensing her opportunity, she spoke rapidly so as not to waste the chance. "Ruddygore brought me and a truck driver over back during the war against the Dark Barron. At that time I was human. I didn't know it, but I was actually a changeling. It didn't start until I came over here."

Walking around in front of the succubus, Arden studied her closely. "So you're saying that you were a human who was a changeling succubus?"

"No," she responded, unable to cower from his gaze. "I was originally Kauri, but I was corrupted into this later."

"What's your name?" he demanded.

"Marge."

"Where were you from originally?" he demanded, rifling off the question as soon as she answered.

"Earth Prime."

"No. Where on Earth Prime?" he shot back.

"Texas. A little place called Brownsville." She replied, more curious about his questions than worried now.

He frowned at her answer. "That's up by San Antonio, right?"

"No," she replied, unable to shake her head. "It's down south by the coast, near the southern tip of Texas."

Arden nodded and smiled. "All right, one last question. What were you seeking at the time were corrupted from being a Kauri to a succubus."

"Huh?" The question had taken her completely by surprise. Not many people knew about that adventure. "We were seeking the Grand McGuffin."

"Well I'll be damned," Arden replied with a smile. He waved a hand casually in her direction, freeing her from the spell. "You've got to be the last person I ever expected to run into."

No longer constrained by the spell, Marge folded her wings and took a step away from the big man. "Just who are you and how do you know so much about me?"

Again he laughed. "Fair enough question. My name is Arden. The little lady inside the sphere happens to be Sheila. The dwarf's body is currently holding the necromancer Rathsmon, and our ebony companion over there is Hecate." He paused for a moment, smiling before speaking again. "As for how I know so much about you, I read the Chronicles of Joe and Marge back in my home dimension. I know about everything you'd done from the day Ruddygore brought you over here to when you helped defeat Boquillas."

"Chronicles of Joe and --- " she stopped and stared, her mouth hanging opening disbelief. "Oh my god!" she declared, squealing like a little girl. "You really read about us in a book? That's incredible! Wait until I tell Joe!"

"Ahem," Hecate grunted, insinuating herself into the conversation. "I hate to break up old home week, but we've got to get our asses out of here before someone else decides it's time to take a shot at us."

Arden started to argue but caught himself and nodded. "You're right." He turned back to Marge and gave a small smile. "It was nice meeting you. Think you can do me a favor and delay anyone that may come looking?"

"Sure," the seductress replied with a smile. "Just leave it to me. I could keep a small army occupied if I wanted to. Give my regards to the fat man when you see him."

"Can do," Arden replied, following the others out the back of the hotel.

Once out in the rear alley, the group paused and looked for any possible ambush. Cautiously but quickly they made their way towards the river, dodging in and out of alleys. The pulled up short of the main street where they'd have to cross to get down to the docks and paused to make sure nobody was following.

Arden peered around the corner to check the street and cursed.

"What's wrong?" Hecate whispered.

"You remember that idiot mage back in the warehouse?" the big man asked in a horse whisper. "He's out there with two more guys who look like spell casters, too. From their auras, I'd say that they're adepts. Low level, probably, but still initiates none the less."

The ebony woman glanced about nervously to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them. "Shit! Think we can take them?"

"We?" he echoed, cocking an eyebrow at the winged female. "We, eh? Not with Sheila to worry about." He let out a long sigh. "I want you and Rathsmon to take the long way down to the docks. I'll deal with these guys."

"Hey, look. I know you're pretty good and all, but do you really think you can take on three adepts at once?" She shook her head and handed the sphere to Rathsmon who scrambled not to drop it. "No way. I've got more experience than you do. Besides, last time you faced that guy he damn near tore you apart."

"That was before Lakash came and plugged me back into the dragon," Arden replied with a sinister smile that sent a chill down the ebony female's spine. "That power isn't governed by the rules. If need be, there's a way where I can completely circumvent the rules, which will leave them powerless."

Both Hecate and Rathsmon were left momentarily speechless. Hecate recovered first. "You pull a stunt like that and you'll have the entire council out gunning for you. Even /you/ couldn't stand that kind of heat."

"Right now, I don't care. The important thing is to get Sheila to Terriendel safely, and if that means breaking a few rules, then so be it." He glanced around, frowning. "Now get moving. They're getting impatient and I don't want to risk them getting their hands on her."

Hecate nodded. "All right. You win. Just don't take too long. You have no idea who else might drop in unexpectedly." The elf turned and headed back down the alleyway, Rathsmon running along behind her, his stumpy legs pumping as fast as they could to keep up, his hands trying to keep his guts from spilling out and tripping him.

Arden closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Reaching deep within, he tapped into the powers that he had available, native to Husquahar and otherwise, to prepare for the battle. Smiling, he looked up and opened his eyes, their black-on-black color rimmed with a crimson halo of raw power. "It's show time."